I fell into you

It's weird how easy it is to say that you won't get attached. And then out of no where you realize that you did get attached. Sometime when I wasn't looking and you were trying not to get too close to me, we did. We got too close. I don't think you realized it because god knows I didn't. Until now. And it hurts. I want so badly to feel this way and to want you, but something is holding me back.
Maybe I'm just overreacting. I mean I knew this could happen. Isn't that why I wanted to keep my distance in the first place? After I was told that you didn't know what you wanted and you didn't want anything serious I knew where this would go. Just because I'm so young doesn't mean I'm ignorant. I have a pretty good grasp on the concept of how relationships work. Even though I've never been in a functioning relationship, I've seen people be happy. But I can never seem to be happy. Even when I am I second guess myself. I don't want to blame the person I'm with but I just feel as though everyone has given me reasons to feel the way I do. Even if it isn't intentional and they don't know they're doing it. I just see things as they are and I know when to let go...maybe even if that's not what you wanted. But I'm not ready to let go yet. I may not have the energy to hold on to that hope that things might work out, but I'm going to try. Even with school starting in a week I think I'm well prepared for the repercussions. At least I'll have school to distract me from everything that's going on in my life right?

...right?