So there was a lot more going on in my head than I realized. Some days I feel like a child. I am a child. When it comes down to it I'm a small, terrified, upset child. Such stupid things have set me off lately. Perhaps they are not stupid, but silly. I get upset over things that aren't a big deal. They can be dealt with. I feel as though I just use them as an excuse to be upset because I'm having a hard time facing the real reasons that make want to just break down and completely fall apart.
Last night started out so well. Someone I thought I had lost finally acknowledged me after god only knows how long. It broke my heart to let her go when we parted, but the fact that she doesn't seem to resent me made my heart swell. And then...then something broke in me when I lost my phone. I disappoint people. I do it all the time. I'm good at letting others down.
But despite everything that kind of hit me in the face, I'm thankful I was with who I was with. He took care of me. He took my hand and told me not to be ashamed of my problems. He supported me while I fell apart and let all of my most vulnerable parts of my mind show. He just let me be a child; told me it was okay and just let me cry. I'm tired of falling apart. I really need to find all the pieces and fit them back together.
I don't want to be broken.
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