Growing up is so strange. It is weird that I am at the place in my life that I am at. I always said that I would never let someone else dictate the decisions I made in my life. While I am not letting someone dictate my decisions per se, I am considering other's opinions for once in my life. I never thought I would change my mind about where I wanted to go because of someone else.
I guess I am just terrified. Of grad school. Of being an adult. Of life...
It is hard to articulate the way I feel. I am sad and confused and excited and empathetic towards others. I want to be happy, but for once I am also considering the happiness of others in my pursuit for my own happiness. I would like to just say "fuck it" and do what I want. I want to just run away and do what I love, but I am scared it won't make me happy anymore.
I want more out of life than what I originally did. It is strange to look at myself and see the person I have become. I do not dislike who I have become, but I am definitely not the person I thought I would be.
Life keeps throwing me curve balls.
Things are changing so fast.......
I'm scared.
No comments:
Post a Comment