A lot has changed in the past year. I have learned to love myself for who I am and oddly enough have far more control over my emotions than I ever dreamed I could have.
Between graduating and getting a new job and making new friends and my relationship with my boyfriend flourishing as much as it has, I have become a completely different person than I was a year ago. The older I get the more I see how much I change on a day to day basis, The older I get the more I change in less time. Never in a bad way. I am growing up and it feels fantastic.
It hit me really hard today at work when I had a pretty bad anxiety attack but kept it under control. It felt good to be able to keep pushing through all of that panic and calm myself down before I completely lost it...especially considering I was in public and interacting with a lot of people.
I not only love myself, but I am proud of who I have become and what I have done. They may be little things and I may not be perfect or the best at anything. But I am happy and I think that counts for a lot.
I find it funny that when you start cutting the negative people and stressful things out of your life, how much easier living with anxiety becomes. I have kept the few people who treat me right in my life and found an amazing man who treats me like no one has ever treated me. I never dreamed that I would find someone as wonderful as he is. I do not think he is the only reason why I have come to a lot of these conclusions but he is definitely the biggest one.
He did not teach me how to love myself, but he taught me that I could. I cannot ask for more than that.
I did not know that I would be as happy as I am, but I look forward to the future with these people that I hold so dearly and the man that I love so much. Growing up is not so bad after all.
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