I broke over the weekend and told him how I have been feeling. Again, I told him that I cannot promise him anything. He looked sad, but he said he has known I have always felt that way. And the look on his face made me feel terrible. I also told him that I had to make a lot of big decisions soon. He replied that he knows that our lives may not be going in the same direction, but he hoped that we could make them.
How do I tell him that I do not think we can?
How do I tell him I don't think I can?
It is literally tearing me apart and my dreams are starting to tell me that I am ignoring the things I am struggling with during my waking hours. I really am starting to become manic in my actions and also acting quite spontaneously...and not necessarily in a good way.
Oy.
I feel so calm most of the time, but my dreams are telling me otherwise. And people keep popping up in my life. Timing is everything, I suppose.
And I apparently just have terrible timing with everything...
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