Recently, I've had a lot of time to do some thinking. Mostly about people and my past. And, I know, I know, thinking about your past never does you any good because you can't change what happened. Well that honestly doesn't matter to me. I want nothing to do with changing what happened in my past, because I learned from a lot of it.
Thinking about it I realize that no matter who they are, how far away they are, how much we talk, how much I hated them, or what they did, there are always some people that I will love for the rest of my life. I use the word love sparingly too. But it's not the kind of love you'd think. I'm speaking of that unconditional love that you don't have to earn. The kind that just sort of...happens.
There are some people in my life that have left their mark on me. They've taken a piece of my heart and they'll always have it. Someone asked me the other day, "Have you ever been with a guy and thought of someone else?" The answer? Yes. I have. Not intentionally. But sometimes someone will do something and it'll remind me of that certain little someone and how they used to do this and that. No matter how much I like the person I'm with, I will always have feelings for that someone. Years from not I 'm going to be married and have kids and be far away from them and I'll wonder, "Man, wonder what he's doing and where he's at now?"
And no matter how much I dislike someone, there are certain memories that hold a certain...light to them that others do not. Those few years in middle school, about the time I was thrown into the harsh reality of the real world, I learned a lot about what it was like to really hurt. And to see what it was like to really hurt. That made me love the people I was with that much more, and part of me still loves those people I was with then, however much or little I know them now. Those people will always have a special place in my heart and I know that, even if they don't realize it, we still have a bond that will be there for the rest of our lives.
A lot has happened lately that has made me realize that there are those people that will never give up on you, no matter what you do or how many mistakes you make. Those are the people who are worth sticking around for. They're the ones that are worth it all in the end. And those people that leave their mark on your heart and just disappear, not acknowledging the mark you left on them, are the ones that make life harder. But no matter which one you are to me, I will always love you. You've left your mark and it's there for the rest of my life, whether I want to keep it there or not. I have no choice.
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